Doubts

by Besatree

/
1.
Closing In 02:34
I see the walls and they closing in quick Seen the ground fall from feet I got the call, started losing my shit This is so not what it seems I see the walls and they closing in quick Seen the ground fall from feet I got the call, started losing my shit This is so not what it seems I don't know nothing bout that, shit is not what I expected Give a fuck what you think, I ain't looking for acceptance If you ride with the boy, then you know that I'm indebted People live to hate and I'd love to fucking dead em Fuck it Still think I'm bluffing Now you need something You don't get nothing I told you from the gate, you could have everything Gotta take a gamble, ain't no guarantees Light another candle, vigil for the casualties Shit that get you rattled, that shit give me therapy Rolling by myself, ya'll rolling with the cavalry Used to have a rat pack, poison got us scattering I am not a veteran, I am not a rookie I am not the one to pull back if you push me You talk a lot of shit, what the fuck is it to me? Used to rock the mask with the gloves and the hoodie That was 2 decades ago I was ready to go Now I step in the door Got the ebb and the flow Gotta keep it composed I ain't tripping on shit Ya'll can do what you do Just ain't nothing I miss And I know Yeah I know This life get muhfucking crazy Yeah I know Yeah I know This life get muhfucking crazy Yeah I know Yeah I know This life get muhfucking crazy I see the walls and they closing in quick Seen the ground fall from feet I got the call, started losing my shit This is so not what it seems I see the walls and they closing in quick Seen the ground fall from feet I got the call, started losing my shit This is so not what it seems I see the walls and they closing in quick Seen the ground fall from feet I got the call, started losing my shit This is so not what it seems I see the walls and they closing in quick Seen the ground fall from feet I got the call, started losing my shit This is so not what it seems
2.
Leave 03:11
Baby, I wanna leave this town Can we leave this town? This place keeps killing my dreams Keeps killing my dreams Baby, I wanna leave this town I wanna leave this town This place keeps killing my dreams It keeps killing my dreams I just left the state in a bad state Eyes dialate, wating to fly away My diet MIA, I haven't slept and haven't ate Knocking on hell's door, shaking heaven's gates Ahhh, yeah, well it's one of the two I been sinning all my life but keep on praying for you And I been watching all the ways that they stay preying on you Can feel my fuse is getting shorter, think my wiring loose I need to leave it, it's deaded I need to reset and edit I got a little bit of credit now I'm leaving indebted They said to fake it till you make it but I don't do no pretending Don't need a trophy for my efforts or my participation I got to go Body cold Adios Only way I'm thinking of you is as a ghost Got close Had a dose And had to leave Broke nose, ripped clothes, and missing teeth Baby, I wanna leave this town Can we leave this town? This place keeps killing my dreams Keeps killing my dreams Baby, I wanna leave this town I wanna leave this town This place keeps killing my dreams It keeps killing my dreams Ay And I don't know if I'm asleep or awake Climbing out the pits of Hell via fire escape You know what I am, but I know what I ain't I ain't giving up no time to you phony's and fakes Done it enough You running up, my anxiety It's either you or I'm running from my sobriety I blame your low self-esteem on high society And no I wont intervene so quit eyeing me Irony is I told you get you knew friends Look at your surroundings how did you think that it would end? You been lying to yourself and you been lying to them Why do you value they opinion? They don't know who you is What were you thinking? Or were you thinking at all? This a problem you created, you will not be absolved Put yourself in situations that you cannot resolve And then you play the fucking victim, boutta aim at your cause Baby, I wanna leave this town Can we leave this town? This place keeps killing my dreams Keeps killing my dreams Baby, I wanna leave this town I wanna leave this town This place keeps killing my dreams It keeps killing my dreams
3.
Four Fifths 02:31
Didn't think it'd be a night like this Get a bottle and I drink four fifths Lost memory, dropped that disc New identity, who dis? Didn't think it'd be a night like this Get a bottle and I drink four fifths Lost memory, dropped that disc New identity Knew that it was wrong the moment that I started I couldn't find my way back tho Lost in a thought while holding a bottle Seemed like the only way back home Looking and looking I couldn't find nothing I only stumbled into problems Nothing is ringing a bell, tell me the tales I can't recall them But one time, more than one time I put my neck on the line, almost lost it If I see the same people that pushed me to sink I'll leave em leaking like a faucet Needed an offset Now need an off switch Everything spinning and I'm feeling nauseaus Circling back to when you had asked Why people the only thing that make me cautious Chalk it up to bad experience Chalk it up to bad advice Chalk it up to bad decisions Chalking out the body lines Blocking out my inhibitions Clocking out I'm missing time Couple bruises in addition It's nothing new, I'm doing fine It's nothing new, I'm doing fine This is how it's always been I don't need to feel alive But I don't want to feel dead Caught another in a lie Caught another in a web With some I had missed all the signs But most of them played with my head I'm cool without you, cool without you Lemme pop a couple placebos Gotta get my head right 'Fore I head right down the wrong road and I see you I don't got the energy And I don't got the will I don't got the patience Aye can somebody gimme the bill? I shoulda known right when I walked in I wasn't gonna leave that quick They didn't leave me any options I don't know about this Knock and all the necks twist Talk and all the heads turn Watch when all the eyes glaze Boutta get what I deserve I don't know what that is I don't know what that ain't Trying to lose my identity Trying to hide my whole face I wanna get lost in the crowd I'm always in my own way I've gotta figure this out Can somebody pour me a drink? Ay, yeah Didn't think it'd be a night like this Get a bottle and I drink four fifths Lost memory, dropped that disc New identity, who dis? Didn't think it'd be a night like this Get a bottle and I drink four fifths Lost memory, dropped that disc New identity
4.
Already Sinking Already Sinking There ain't no point in trying to rescue me Lost at sea and I guarantee I'm Already sinking Trying to fight the same waves that carry me Barely made it out alive, shit been harrowing Ain't no point in trying to rescue me Ain't nobody gotta bury me, I'm Already sinking Trying to fight the same waves that carry me If I make it out alive, it's narrowly Well I been drowning in my own thoughts Heart drop, my breath stop, and blood clot Half of me to remembered, other half could be forgot Half my homies turned they back and I'm still trying to turn the clock Agh, I heard that it's a suicide mission The same people saying it got me the position Driven, nearly to the end of my road My proposition has conditions and I think that you know So, oh, just leave me alone I got lost on purpose, I don't need the crown or the thrown I'm an underdog, here to help the crowd overthrow I'm a common man, average income, generally broke Low-key, doing shit on the side And I ain't trying to buy to get it, I'm just trying to get by Live wire, lighting fires no fuse Living wage, digging graves, heavy breathing the fumes I feel consumed All of these smaller and smaller rooms Doom my new mentality, I howl at the moon The stench looms Everything I thought that I knew Boiled down to paragraph 3, article 2 What the Uggh, no wonder I can't find stability They steady shaking the foundation, asking what the Richter read I wouldn't call it victory, they tout it as a win Heart is on my sleeve but my patience wearing thin Age is setting in I need my medicines The Devil knocking on the door, please don't let him in I got away before but I don't think I will again Been living in this Hell and don't know where Heaven went Can't live in present tense when I'm still paying for my past The future don't exist until I'm in it looking back Was working on a path, but now I'm boutta hit the road The only way to do that is to leave and let it go There ain't no point in trying to rescue me Lost at sea and I guarantee I'm Already sinking Trying to fight the same waves that carry me Barely made it out alive, shit been harrowing Ain't no point in trying to rescue me Ain't nobody gotta bury me, I'm Already sinking Trying to fight the same waves that carry me If I make it out alive, it's narrowly Already Sinking Already Sinking
5.
Like That 02:19
Shit is all the same I don't give a fuck about none of the fame My shit not in the big picture My shit is out of the frame I got range I got aim I got everything you looking for One thing doesn't change And it's everything I'm living for I don't got money but I got what I need Had a good job that I lost to the C Right in the middle of writing this verse And the whole damn Nation got brought to they knees All that I know is I still gotta push Shifting the gears then it's back to the clutch Kicking up dust, been in a rush I can't be waiting for you to adjust I know what I know Do what I do Lie in the bed that I made and it's cool I don't know why you be tripping on views When you ain't done nothing to get in the view Tell me I'm wrong, show me the proof String me along, I'll make you a noose What is your angle? This shit is obtuse Focused on the one so I give em the deuce Yeah and it's like that And I don't care if you like that I ain't gonna be right back, no And I don't care if you fight back, no And it's like that And I don't care if you like that I ain't gonna be right back, no And I don't care if you fight back, no And it's fuck what they say I only take cues from they moves It's hard to believe anybody these days You gotta just watch what they do Learn to deduce Push and produce You gonna get cut, gonna get bruised Looking for a spark, better light that fuse You don't ever win, you don't ever lose I got news tho I been watching all your steps And they don't align with the shit that you say I think that we should check the math ayy yeah It ain't real yo Everything you talking fake You put yourself in a position to fail Then wonder why everyone leave ayy Yeah and it's like that And I don't care if you like that I ain't gonna be right back, no And I don't care if you fight back, no And it's like that And I don't care if you like that I ain't gonna be right back, no And I don't care if you fight back, no Shit is all the same I don't give a fuck about none of the fame My shit not in the big picture My shit is out of the frame I got range I got aim I got everything you looking for One thing doesn't change And it's everything I'm living for
6.
Runner Up 02:46
Tell me something that I don't know Tell me something that I don't know I run away from the truth and I I ran away from the truth, it's like Tell me something that I don't know Tell me something that I don't know I run away from the truth and I I ran away from the truth, it's like I see the issues, got no need for the mirror Got the foggiest of memories from bottles of clear I want the eyes on me but stay tripping on stares And I tend to overreact when I'm under prepared I need another 20 years so I can fix the mistakes Borderline about to board a flight and hit the escape Half my body soak in sadness, other half of it ache I'm a walking contradiction still just stuck in my place I don't know I should go, is this considered loitering? Love and hate get interchanged, the train of thought is Freudian Back into the future, boutta get me a Delorean You gotta have your head on straight to know that you're disoriented I made a couple of trips 2am to Echo Park working double the shifts Didn't make a fucking cent but I loved what I did I want to die as an example of the way that I lived So, that means I know it's coming but I'm ready Making jokes bout drowning in my tears as they release the levee I see the fatal flaw in this, I'll pay the pretty penny A complicated optimist and opposite, depending See ya bending all the rules and breaking all your promises It's benefiting you, but hurting your accomplices Circumvent the truth and never tell em bout the consequences I don't know bout you but this shit make me lose my confidence It's common sense a gut reaction Knowing when to push or pass it Learning how to listen when ya body say the shit is backwards I don't recognize the signs but I can emulate the patterns Half the time I'm wrong, the other half the time don't even matter Ayy, I got some learning to do I'll be the first one to admit it I'm done running from truth And I know, you probably heard it all before You can run away from truth but why deny it when it's yours?
7.
Been a long damn road I don't know that I know anything Feel like I been it alone Feel like I'm my own worst enemy Can't see myself making the goal When all of my focus on penalties How can I keep the shit light when Everything hit me so heavily Steadily they say the rise yeah But I'm definitely not in the mood Got the pedal to the floor, what it do? I'ma be gassing my way to the fuel aye Cuz I don't know no different And I don't know no better Blink and you miss it Sleep and it's over I never been one to chase nobody down And I'm not gonna start with it now Being connected is not a connection Don't let this shit tie you back down I'm worth more than that Screencap every interaction Pass shit like a quarter back I just be myself, I don't chase reaction I pushed myself into obscurity Thinking I wasn't worth anyone's time Hung on the fringe Hung on the edge Really I just hung myself out to dry I don't know why I don't know how I don't know when I don't know where I don't know what I don't know who I am not here I am not there Stuck in a moment Lost in a thought Stare at the wall until I lost my job Say it's for winners, then I'm at a loss I don't know nothing bout nothing at all Swear I know everything Just want to help End up a detriment all to myself Pull some old whiskey up off of the shelf Who need a liver when they got a tale? Follow me into the dark Follow me into the dark Follow me into the dark Follow me into the dark ay Follow me into the dark Follow me into the dark Follow me into the dark Follow me, follow me, follow me, follow me Follow me into the dark Follow me into the dark ayy Follow me into the dark Follow me into the dark Follow me into the dark Follow me into the dark yeaa Follow me into the dark Follow me, follow me, follow me, follow me Yeah

about

Somewhere between doubting myself and hating when others doubt me.

credits

released June 16, 2020

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Besatree Ventura, California

Sometimes I make music. Sometimes I don't. These are the times I did.

Merch available on website.

contact / help

Contact Besatree

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account